In this journey I found Dr. Mike Murdock; I am so grateful to God for him. In September I had written down this list of things he has taught me. It is a true and heartfelt list. I share them in honor of his great life and example:
Thank you for teaching me that I must talk verbally with the Lord; that thoughts are not prayers.
Thank you for teaching me that God does not respond to our pain, but to our pursuit.
Thank you for teaching me that God is not in charge of my decisions, but that I am responsible for pursuing wisdom and understanding and making decisions based on what I know.
Thank you for teaching me that God’s Word is the basis of every decision and that it does not work unless applied in obedience.
Thank you for teaching me that God’s judgments and curses are as much a part of the covenant as His blessings and that it is my responsibility to know if I have done wrong and am being judged, or if I have done well and am under attack–that the Holy Spirit will discern the difference with His Word.
Thank you for teaching me that God will not teach me what He has given another to teach, so I must pursue godly counsel as well as pursuing God.
Thank you for teaching me that the Holy Spirit is the only person of the Godhead presently on the earth and that I must stay in constant relationship with Him.
Thank you for teaching me that I shouldn’t and don’t have to give up, that I can always reach out for God in my darkest hour.
Thank you, Dr. Murdock.
If you are looking for sound, biblical guidance, I wholeheartedly endorse Dr. Murdock. You can find him online at http://wisdomonline.com I highly suggest subscribing to his Morning Motivation daily devotional–it’s short and always great.
Dr. Mike Murdock has said many times, "If quitting will get you what you want, quit." Quitting does not get us what we want. I’ve quit lots of times, so I know! Some people, it seems to me, are natural go getter’s, and others, like myself are natural quitters. My mother just never got depressed. I have to work hard to find reason and purpose. Someday, maybe I’ll revise that (At one time people believed the world was flat). I believe the Bible is His Word. I believe the Scriptures are the guideline for our lives.
Believing the wrong thing will mess your life up. I’m not talking about my belief that it is God’s Word, but do I really believe it. Because if I don’t, I won’t really live it. I demonstrated in committing adultery what I truly believed about God’s Word concerning adultery. I’m glad I failed at suicide. I’ve learned a lot in this painful journey. I will choose today to believe more of God’s Word. To live more purposefully.
We determined you exist and have pain. Others exist and have pain. Don’t try to save the world. Consider if there were no heaven or hell. No eternal consequences. There are people in trouble, people hurting. If you woke up tomorrow and had to fill in for Jesus for a day, what would you do?
Jesus believed God’s Word is absolute truth.
Jesus loved people so much He went out of His way for them.
Jesus loved God so much He was obedient to His own death.
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Everyone has a reason for being where they are in life. Chances are good you are in a painful place and it brought you here. How do you go beyond? Lets look at the choices we have:
Dr. Mike Murdock has said many times, "If quitting will get you what you want, quit." We all know quitting does not get us what we want.I’ve quit lots of times, so I know! Some people, it seems to me, are natural go getter’s, and others, like myself are natural quitters. It didn’t come from my mother; we often would talk about my depression and my feelings to quit and she’d say, "I’d take my physical sickness before I’d take your depression." (She was very sick and in a lot of pain most of her life.) My mother just never got depressed. She always saw the good in a new day. I guess I missed out on that gene!
For me, each day is not happy. I have to work hard to find reason and purpose. I’m one of the few people who won’t tell you that you specifically have a meaning and a purpose. Someday, maybe I’ll revise that (At one time people believed the world was flat). My not knowing or understanding does not nullify anything. However, I have yet to discover my meaning and purpose, so I have concluded it does not exist. What I do know, is that I am here and what I do with my being here is important. Would you agree that you are here? Do you want to have meaning? I know I do. If it is not defined outside of me … or genetically within me … where is it?
I believe in guidelines. I very much believe in God. I believe the Bible is His Word. I believe the Scriptures are the guideline for our lives.
With that said, I’m not sure I’d be in the place I am, had I lived what I claim to believe. I’ve had to go back to the proverbial drawing board and reassess what I believe. Believing the wrong thing will mess your life up. Thinking you believe something you don’t really believe will mess your life up too. Had you asked me if I believed in committing adultery and getting divorced, I’d have told you "No." but I did, so what I really believe and what I thought I believed are not one and the same. If you want to go from where you are to where you want to be, you will have to take the first step which is being honest with what you really believe.
If you are anything like me, you know you need to believe some things you don’t want to believe. I won’t tell you change is easy. I sit down with my Bible, read a passage, and have to ask myself, "Do I believe this?" I’m not talking about my belief that it is God’s Word, but do I really believe it. Because if I don’t, I won’t really live it.Now, before you completely write me off, I want to say, I have NEVER cooked a goat in its mother’s milk (Ex. 23:19).
Belief is the power of who we are. Belief is the essence of who we are. I wrote awhile back about God not needing to know His reaction to the world’s needs because He wants to know our reaction. It is the same when it comes to our beliefs. I demonstrated in committing adultery what I truly believed about God’s Word concerning adultery. I can say what I want, but I believed I had justifiable cause. What I had was the heart of a fool. What I did was hurt a lot of people. I nearly ended up in hell from an attempted suicide; when I lost Kristi, I lost everything because I had given up everything to be with her. I’m glad I failed at suicide. I’d be paying eternally. I’m sure hell gives new meaning to Now.
I do wish I could fix the past. Since I cannot, I have decided to live today the best I can. I’ve learned a lot in this painful journey. Every so often, I learn something new about myself. I see something in me that if it had been different I wouldn’t be where I am today. I get really frustrated. I think, "How can I be so stupid!" I don’t know, I just am, but I am determined to change. I will choose today to believe more of God’s Word. To love more deeply.To live more purposefully.
So, to answer the question, where do I get meaning? It is around you. We determined you exist and have pain. Others exist and have pain. What do you want done for yourself? Do that for another. Don’t try to save the world. You will need to work on your own life first, but do it with the determination that you will use your pain to help someone else in pain. Consider if there were no heaven or hell. No eternal consequences. There are people in trouble, people hurting. Would you just leave them in their pain because it has nothing to do with you? I want you to take my hand and say, "No, I want to do what I can." You see, I don’t want eternity to be the reason I do anything. I don’t want reward or judgment to be my goal. I only want to see someone in need and do what I can.
Right now, about all I have to offer are these few words of transparent honesty. If it doesn’t help anyone and only exposes the wretchedness within me, I won’t complain. Neither will I sit idly by trying to protect myself from the derision I deserve. I will not conceal my sin. One does not enter death itself to come back worried about what people think! So, listen up: the world has needs. What are you going to do about it? God already knows what He would do, He’s waiting to see what you and I will do. Choose Now to do something good. If you woke up tomorrow and had to fill in for Jesus for a day, what would you do? I don’t mean be Jesus, I mean being just you, but filling in for Him.
Jesus believed God’s Word is absolute truth.
Jesus loved people so much He went out of His way for them.
Jesus loved God so much He was obedient to His own death.
Those are your guidelines. That is your mission, should you choose to accept it.
Romans 6:11 (KJV) Likewisereckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Treasury of Scripture Knowledge by R.A. Torrey references:
Reckon:
Romans 8:18 (KJV) For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
Be dead:
Romans 6:2 (KJV) God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein?
But:
Romans 6:13 (KJV) Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God.
1 Corinthians 6:20 (KJV) For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.
Galatians 2:19 (KJV) For I through the law am dead to the law, that I might live unto God.
Galatians 2:20 (KJV) I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.
Colossians 3:3-5 (KJV) 3 For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.5 Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry:
Through/by:
Romans 6:23 (KJV) For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Romans 5:1 (KJV) Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:
Romans 16:27 (KJV) To God only wise, be glory through Jesus Christ for ever. Amen.
John 20:31 (KJV) But these are written, that ye might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing ye might have life through his name.
Ephesians 2:7 (KJV) That in the ages to come he might shew the exceeding riches of his grace in his kindness toward us through Christ Jesus.
Philippians 1:11 (KJV) Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God.
Philippians 4:7 (KJV) And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Colossians 3:17 (KJV) And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.
1 Peter 2:5 (KJV) Ye also, as lively stones, are built up a spiritual house, an holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices, acceptable to God by Jesus Christ.
1 Peter 4:11 (KJV) If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God; if any man minister, let him do it as of the ability which God giveth: that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.
Today is a new day. There is nothing that can alter your Now Decisions. The past and future both affect our decisions–they fight and struggle for our attention. The past will scream at you that you will fail again. The future will demand you cannot succeed. Neither is an absolute. You, right Now, have the only true power over what will happen.
Take a look at these wisdom keys from Dr. Mike Murdock:
WKMM# 342. Champions Make Decisions That Creates The Future They Desire; Losers Make Decisions That Create The Present They Desire.
WKMM# 340. You Can Only Conquer Something You Hate.
What decision would change your future if you made it right Now? Is there something your past or your future is keeping you from? Do you want something, but are afraid to pursue it? Has your past caused you to doubt yourself? You must right Now realize all those thoughts exist as you think them Now–and only Now. They do not exist in the past–they existed in the past–not Now. What would you do if they did not exist? Do you know, In reality, the past does not exist at all. Only the memory of the past exists.
Who you are, and what you do with Now is a choice you have–Now. You may face obstacles. Others may try to bind you to your past. Your own mind will try to keep you a captive. Shake loose. You choose Now what you will be Now. When the past tries to stop you, look at the watch on your arm, and ask yourself, "Who do I choose to be Now?" Choose to be the best you can be right Now, and Live it! You can, I believe in you!
Released – Looking for Love in All the Right Places, Part 1
This is a message by Chip Ingram, which I found to be very good. It is from his daily broadcast at livingontheedge.org. Chip’s ministry takes donations!
Isn’t it amazing how God’s voice can cause us to harden our hearts? King Saul, when confronted with his sin, confessed and made excuses. Our lives are our choices. One choice builds upon another creating our life. The same way multiple colors are compounded to create one effect, so our choices compound together to create our lives. The Israelites chose to grieve God with their choices. Know today that if you have or are making choice which grieve God, you can stop and contemplate your decisions right now and alter course. Hear His Voice and Harden Not Your Heart. I am sorry for grieving you with my choices, attitudes, and actions. I choose now to let Your Word and Your Ways guide me to make right choices, have right attitudes, and do right actions. Thank you, precious friend for praying that prayer.
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Psalms 95:7-11 (KJV) 7 For he is our God; and we are the people of his pasture, and the sheep of his hand. To day if ye will hear his voice, 8 Harden not your heart, as in the provocation, and as in the day of temptation in the wilderness: 9 When your fathers tempted me, proved me, and saw my work. 10 Forty years long was I grieved with this generation, and said, It is a people that do err in their heart, and they have not known my ways: 11 Unto whom I sware in my wrath that they should not enter into my rest.
Isn’t it amazing how God’s voice can cause us to harden our hearts? It would seem the one voice that would not harden our heart is the one which might. I was talking with someone Friday who mentioned the difference between two old testament people: Saul and David. David, when confronted with his sin of adultery confessed, and repented. There is no indication of David ever doing such an act again. King Saul, when confronted with his sin, confessed and made excuses. He continued to make excuses for his sins. The outcome for these two men was quite different: Saul committed suicide on the battlefield, while David died in bed with a beautiful woman keeping him warm.
Choice has become a huge part of my life in the past months. It is a theme which paints our lives. Indeed, even indecision is a choice. Our lives are our choices. I understand that some of our experiences are our of our choice control, but our reactions to those are our choice too. One choice builds upon another creating our life. In art class many years ago, I did a chalk drawing of my brother, Tim. It was a very difficult media. Before chalk I had done pencil quite successfully. Now, I was dealing with color. Do you know how many colors it takes to create Caucasian flesh tones?! Simply amazing. I found myself going over and over the same parts with new colors to get the right tone and hue. The same way multiple colors are compounded to create one effect, so our choices compound together to create our lives. Sometimes desirable, sometimes not. Sometimes we live with the consequence, and sometimes we must make decisions to alter course.
The Israelites chose to grieve God with their choices. Like king Saul, the did it consistently. Know today that if you have or are making choice which grieve God, you can stop and contemplate your decisions right now and alter course. Hear His Voice and Harden Not Your Heart. In other words, choose to do what is right.
Pray this prayer: Father, God, I do not want to grieve you. I am sorry for grieving you with my choices, attitudes, and actions. Forgive me, just as I forgive those who have wronged me with their choices, attitudes, and actions. I choose now to let Your Word and Your Ways guide me to make right choices, have right attitudes, and do right actions. Pour Your love and peace into my heart. Thank you for washing my sin away, and for remembering it no more. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.
Thank you, precious friend for praying that prayer. Thank you for being willing to grow and change, and be all God wants you to be.
If you are interested in more specific help overcoming a painful life crisis, consider taking another step: http://www.jctnow.com/qualification
If I do something for someone, who cares? Read this Scripture:
Ephesians 6:8 (KJV) Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free. (emphesis added)
It looks like it is God, not the person you do the kindness for, Who really takes notice!
God is perfect. God is not interested in knowing what He could do with this hurting world. The hurting, the poor, the naked, the hungry. They are not God’s problem, nor God’s creation (positionally speaking), they are ours.
The world is ours. In Genesis 1:26 God put us in charge of everything, then He rested. Make your difference. Feed someone whose hungry. Clothe someone whose naked. Visit someone in prison. There are both the physical and emotion aspects of these kinds of people. NOW go take dominion over what God has already given you dominion over!
Forgiveness and Repentance are the signs of His work in our lives . . . not how we earn His gift.
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God is perfect. He already knows what He can and would do in any and every situation, which is why He is not more involved in the world than He is. God is not interested in knowing what He could do with this hurting world. He already knows.
God also knows what He has put in each and every one of us. He know our potential, but He wants to see our reactions. What we can do and what we will do is the ultimate display of who any of us really are. The hurting, the poor, the naked, the hungry. They are not God’s problem, nor God’s creation (positionally speaking), they are ours.
The world is ours. In Genesis 1:26 God put us in charge of everything, then He rested. The task was delegated to us. It can be overwhelming to see what we have caused as a human race, but it is better to realize the potential that is still in all of us. None of us can change the decisions which brought us to where we are, but we can make a plan to change what we will do right NOW.
(I’m not trying to be theologically correct here, but make a point, so bear with me): Some time ago, I decided if I’ve messed up so bad, and am too goofed up to make it into heaven, I’d be a fool to just accept it. I’m going to do my best today, and every day after, to do what I know to be the best. I will serve the Lord with everything within me and go kicking and screaming into hell, but at least I will have done my best to help others on my journey.
I hope that makes sense to you, and that you will decide today to do your best. Make your difference. Lift up someone whose fallen. Feed someone whose hungry. Clothe someone whose naked. Visit someone in prison. There are both the physical and emotion aspects of these kinds of people. Either one will make a difference in that life–whether you meet the physical or emotional need.
You may not have the complete answer, nor the complete healing. Don’t let that stop you. Do what you can. If it isn’t enough, so what . . . you did what you could. NOW go take dominion over what God has already given you dominion over!
Jeffrey
P.S. Jesus saves by grace . . . just because He loves us so much! Forgiveness and Repentance are the signs of His work in our lives . . . not how we earn His gift. Not there yet? Keep going to Him, just keep going back to Jesus . . . He’s praying for you today. He is for you when no one else is.