In this journey I found Dr. Mike Murdock; I am so grateful to God for him. In September I had written down this list of things he has taught me. It is a true and heartfelt list. I share them in honor of his great life and example:

1. Thank you for teaching me that I must talk verbally with the Lord; that thoughts are not prayers.
2. Thank you for teaching me that God does not respond to our pain, but to our pursuit.
3. Thank you for teaching me that God is not in charge of my decisions, but that I am responsible for pursuing wisdom and understanding and making decisions based on what I know.
4. Thank you for teaching me that God’s Word is the basis of every decision and that it does not work unless applied in obedience.
5. Thank you for teaching me that God’s judgments and curses are as much a part of the covenant as His blessings and that it is my responsibility to know if I have done wrong and am being judged, or if I have done well and am under attack–that the Holy Spirit will discern the difference with His Word.
6. Thank you for teaching me that God will not teach me what He has given another to teach, so I must pursue godly counsel as well as pursuing God.
7. Thank you for teaching me that the Holy Spirit is the only person of the Godhead presently on the earth and that I must stay in constant relationship with Him.
8. Thank you for teaching me that I shouldn’t and don’t have to give up, that I can always reach out for God in my darkest hour.

Thank you, Dr. Murdock.

If you are looking for sound, biblical guidance, I wholeheartedly endorse Dr. Murdock. You can find him online at http://wisdomonline.com I highly suggest subscribing to his Morning Motivation daily devotional–it’s short and always great.

Summary

Dr. Mike Murdock has said many times, "If quitting will get you what you want, quit." Quitting does not get us what we want. I’ve quit lots of times, so I know! Some people, it seems to me, are natural go getter’s, and others, like myself are natural quitters. My mother just never got depressed. I have to work hard to find reason and purpose. Someday, maybe I’ll revise that (At one time people believed the world was flat). I believe the Bible is His Word. I believe the Scriptures are the guideline for our lives.

Believing the wrong thing will mess your life up. I’m not talking about my belief that it is God’s Word, but do I really believe it. Because if I don’t, I won’t really live it. I demonstrated in committing adultery what I truly believed about God’s Word concerning adultery. I’m glad I failed at suicide. I’ve learned a lot in this painful journey. I will choose today to believe more of God’s Word. To live more purposefully.

We determined you exist and have pain. Others exist and have pain. Don’t try to save the world. Consider if there were no heaven or hell. No eternal consequences. There are people in trouble, people hurting. If you woke up tomorrow and had to fill in for Jesus for a day, what would you do?

Full Article

Everyone has a reason for being where they are in life. Chances are good you are in a painful place and it brought you here. How do you go beyond? Lets look at the choices we have:

Dr. Mike Murdock has said many times, "If quitting will get you what you want, quit." We all know quitting does not get us what we want. I’ve quit lots of times, so I know! Some people, it seems to me, are natural go getter’s, and others, like myself are natural quitters. It didn’t come from my mother; we often would talk about my depression and my feelings to quit and she’d say, "I’d take my physical sickness before I’d take your depression." (She was very sick and in a lot of pain most of her life.) My mother just never got depressed. She always saw the good in a new day. I guess I missed out on that gene!

For me, each day is not happy. I have to work hard to find reason and purpose. I’m one of the few people who won’t tell you that you specifically have a meaning and a purpose. Someday, maybe I’ll revise that (At one time people believed the world was flat). My not knowing or understanding does not nullify anything. However, I have yet to discover my meaning and purpose, so I have concluded it does not exist. What I do know, is that I am here and what I do with my being here is important. Would you agree that you are here? Do you want to have meaning? I know I do. If it is not defined outside of me … or genetically within me … where is it?

I believe in guidelines. I very much believe in God. I believe the Bible is His Word. I believe the Scriptures are the guideline for our lives.

With that said, I’m not sure I’d be in the place I am, had I lived what I claim to believe. I’ve had to go back to the proverbial drawing board and reassess what I believe. Believing the wrong thing will mess your life up. Thinking you believe something you don’t really believe will mess your life up too. Had you asked me if I believed in committing adultery and getting divorced, I’d have told you "No." but I did, so what I really believe and what I thought I believed are not one and the same. If you want to go from where you are to where you want to be, you will have to take the first step which is being honest with what you really believe.

If you are anything like me, you know you need to believe some things you don’t want to believe. I won’t tell you change is easy. I sit down with my Bible, read a passage, and have to ask myself, "Do I believe this?" I’m not talking about my belief that it is God’s Word, but do I really believe it. Because if I don’t, I won’t really live it. Now, before you completely write me off, I want to say, I have NEVER cooked a goat in its mother’s milk (Ex. 23:19).

Belief is the power of who we are. Belief is the essence of who we are. I wrote awhile back about God not needing to know His reaction to the world’s needs because He wants to know our reaction. It is the same when it comes to our beliefs. I demonstrated in committing adultery what I truly believed about God’s Word concerning adultery. I can say what I want, but I believed I had justifiable cause. What I had was the heart of a fool. What I did was hurt a lot of people. I nearly ended up in hell from an attempted suicide; when I lost Kristi, I lost everything because I had given up everything to be with her. I’m glad I failed at suicide. I’d be paying eternally. I’m sure hell gives new meaning to Now.

I do wish I could fix the past. Since I cannot, I have decided to live today the best I can. I’ve learned a lot in this painful journey. Every so often, I learn something new about myself. I see something in me that if it had been different I wouldn’t be where I am today. I get really frustrated. I think, "How can I be so stupid!" I don’t know, I just am, but I am determined to change. I will choose today to believe more of God’s Word. To love more deeply. To live more purposefully.

So, to answer the question, where do I get meaning? It is around you. We determined you exist and have pain. Others exist and have pain. What do you want done for yourself? Do that for another. Don’t try to save the world. You will need to work on your own life first, but do it with the determination that you will use your pain to help someone else in pain. Consider if there were no heaven or hell. No eternal consequences. There are people in trouble, people hurting. Would you just leave them in their pain because it has nothing to do with you? I want you to take my hand and say, "No, I want to do what I can." You see, I don’t want eternity to be the reason I do anything. I don’t want reward or judgment to be my goal. I only want to see someone in need and do what I can.

Right now, about all I have to offer are these few words of transparent honesty. If it doesn’t help anyone and only exposes the wretchedness within me, I won’t complain. Neither will I sit idly by trying to protect myself from the derision I deserve. I will not conceal my sin. One does not enter death itself to come back worried about what people think! So, listen up: the world has needs. What are you going to do about it? God already knows what He would do, He’s waiting to see what you and I will do. Choose Now to do something good. If you woke up tomorrow and had to fill in for Jesus for a day, what would you do? I don’t mean be Jesus, I mean being just you, but filling in for Him.

1. Jesus believed God’s Word is absolute truth.
2. Jesus loved people so much He went out of His way for them.
3. Jesus loved God so much He was obedient to His own death.

Those are your guidelines. That is your mission, should you choose to accept it.

Jeffrey